My Stomach was in Over Its Head
3:14. At first, seeing that number struck fear into my heart. But I quickly realized that if it could be done in three minutes and 14 seconds, then surely I could do it in less than 10 minutes. After all, I wasn’t there to break the record, just complete the mission.
It had all started a month prior over dinner and drinks at Oakley Pub & Grill with Laura (Eastside Eats) and David (Nerd Alert). After a lengthy conversation about Fine Living Network’s show “Three Sheets,” David started talking about “Man v. Food.” This show, on the Travel Channel, chronicles the adventures of Adam Richman as he takes on extreme eating challenges like taking down a 72-ounce steak in one hour. The conversation quickly turned to local food challenges and Ramundo’s Pizzeria in Mt. Lookout Square. Any two-person team successful in finishing an entire 24” pizza in under 10 minutes gets the pizza for free and earns bragging rights.
I may not look it, but I can eat my own body weight in food by the time dinner rolls around. So I opened up my big mouth and told David that we should do it.
Fast forward one month later and I found myself nervously awaiting a two-foot pizza – half of which I was responsible for eating. I’m not sure why I was so nervous. As food challenges go, a 24” pizza is the bunny slope. Eating a six-pound steak is something that should inspire fear. But David had some semblance of prior competitive eating experience, and I didn’t want to let him down. Plus we had a few onlookers and well wishers that hung around after picking up their orders to watch the carnage – and I hadn’t expected an audience.
“Probably about half the people that try it actually finish it in time,” explains Tony Ramundo, owner of Ramundo’s Pizzeria. “I think that’s a pretty good percentage.”
Okay, so a fair number of people succeed. But what about that 3:14 record time? Is it “special,” or are there a lot of teams hovering around this extremely low time?
“At first, I didn’t think anyone would break five minutes. And once someone did, I thought that was it. But then a few people started getting lower and lower times. And the guys with the record… I don’t think they even chewed. They just devoured it.”
I knew that would not be me. If I could pace it out to one slice every two and a half minutes, I’d be just fine, beat the 10 minute required mark, and go home happy.
This did not happen.
Our plan was to split the pizza 50/50. David started strong and finished strong. I started flat and finished even flatter – not even completing my half of the pizza. By the second slice, our timekeeper let me know I was well off the pace, and as I started the third slice, it was clear that even 10 minutes wasn’t enough to do the deed and take down all four slices.
The good news is that once the challenge was over, I could actually appreciate the pizza. It was really tasty and I enjoyed eating it, something I hadn’t been able to do while I was stuffing my face in a race against the clock.
There are only two pearls of wisdom I can impart. First, do not mistake being able to eat a lot for being able to eat a lot in a small amount of time. And second, if you’ve seen the pros and have told yourself that you’d never dunk your food in water, you’ll soon change your tune when the pressure is on… believe it.
So if you think you may want to venture into the world of competitive eating – or you just want to enjoy a really good pizza and have some fun – grab a friend, head to Ramundo’s, and see what you’re made of.
